Please objectify me.

I mean it.

Oogle my ass.

I’ve never been this small in my adult life and that feels amazing.

Plus I was doing some reading about astrology and apparently the fact that I’m a Gemini with a Leo rising sign makes me a raging narcissist and attention whore. Surprise, surprise.

68lbs lost, 68lbs, I never thought I’d make it this far. Joking aside (oh shit, we’re about to get honest and authentic…) this is something I never thought I’d be able to do. Even as a chubby teenager who didn’t have that much to lose I thought it was impossible. By the time I got to college I was convinced that I would never break the cycle and that my weight would end up killing me. I was pretty sure that it would consume and destroy me.
If it weren’t for this blog and the support of my readers, I wouldn’t have been able to come this far. Thank you for reading, for sticking with me during hard times, for humoring me while I processed things, and for the feedback you’ve given over the months I’ve been here.

I’m about to sound totally cliché and possibly trite but I mean this. I hope that something people bring away from my blog is that if a fuck up like me can do this and change her life, anyone can. Like, anyone. For real.

Let’s review where I started. Besides the bad haircut and too thin eyebrows, what really pops out is that I just look like I’ve been blown up like a balloon. For the record that cord is present because I have my iPod in my pocket and am listening to music while doing these pictures. Just in case your wondered.
     

In the second picture I look much better. I mean, I’m chunky still but not nearly so much. It’s totally less frightening, right? I’m a slightly less absurdly fat girl. Oh, and my boobs look a lot less funny. My pants are also too big. Oh and that was during the period when I was unrested and too tired. I’m looking a tad zombie-ish.

            

Check me out at 228.2lbs just a few days ago. Not only do I look significantly less grumpy, I also look much smaller. It’s strange how my face looks fundamentally different. The one sided perma-frown is much less severe than it was in past pictures, and the entire contour of my face just looks different. Why hello cheek bones and chin. I see you there. Are those collar bones? I didn’t even realize I had them.

These were actually supposed to come out when I hit 235 but since I sailed past that in a vicodin/fever induced haze, I tried to take them as soon as possible. I’ll make sure to get the next ones up as soon as I’m under 200. Shit, I’m close, aren’t I. That’s a really strange thought.

It feels even more strange to look back at where I’ve been and to think about how much smaller I am. I don’t really feel it in daily life yet because I’m still chunky. I forget about all the progress I’ve made sometimes and think that it’s a small deal. But looking at this I can’t deny how huge of a deal it is. I really can’t wait until I get to do another set of progress pictures and see what I look like then.

Aaaand my ass it totally hot. Even I want to slap it.

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