Don’t get too excited for me. Mostly it’s because I’m having trouble getting myself to eat and also haven’t been drinking. So, one of those is actually pretty good but the other one is maybe not so much.
I’m in one of those I-can’t-seem-to-get-myself-to-eat stages that I go through when I’m feeling all the feels of boy troubles. Since my boyfriend and I broke up last Sunday, I’m obviously in that stage right now.
I also started a new job last Thursday and moved back into my apartment that had been left vacant for a few months as we were preparing to officially live together, so a lot’s been going on.
I’m exhausted and heartbroken but it’s a good opportunity for a fresh start. Like, I almost titled this post ANUSTART and then I remembered that I hadn’t checked in on my weigh in yet so I went with the one that wouldn’t attract all the porn and/or Arrested Development searches.
In the wake of it all, I’m doing my best to be as healthy as possible and to take as good care of myself as possible.
So, between listening to Pink’s Just Give Me a Reason on repeat and plotting for my future world domination I’ve been trying to eat my greens and make a half assed effort to exercise.
Or maybe heartbreak just burns calories, I don’t know.
Either way, I’m making a huge effort to use this upheaval as an opportunity to change some habits and try to approach things in a different way.
I guess some weekly goals would be appropriate…
This Week’s Goals
1. Eat Green Things – As much as possible, I’m trying to eat the healthiest food I can get my hands on. So, I’m going to keep focusing on eating as much leafy greens as possible. Making it the staple of my meal and adding other foods after seems to be a really effective way to do this. I’ve just kind of accepted that I will be stuffing my face with as much spinach or kale as possible at every meal. Then I can have my bacon.
2. Get Active in Incidental Ways – I plan to do quite a bit over the next week in terms of recreation and am trying to walk to and from as many of those things as possible. I’m not feeling ready to start an actual workout routine yet but I want to up the activity so that it won’t feel like such a shock when I do start working out again. Plus, Seattle is so beautiful right now, I really shouldn’t be indoors, like, at all.
3. Give Myself Grace – I’ve made a few choices for how I’m going to deal with this difficult time period and how I’m going to be totally okay with my emotional messiness. As someone painfully aware of the lingering effects of PTSD in my life and how drinking exacerbates it, I’ve decided not to drink at all for a while, until I’m a little more emotionally level and out of danger of having a bad attack. I’ve also decided to be okay with the lingering complications of our relationship. While in the past I’ve had no trouble simply dropping a relationship that wasn’t working, this was a very different situation. Am I being “that stupid girl” by not just letting go? Maybe, but I’d rather be stupid and possibly keep the valuable parts of what we have than be the smart girl who just plain loses someone incredibly valuable from their life.
4. Look Amazing – My new position at work has me in direct contact with a lot of people high up in a major company. At my last job, I mostly wore jeans and a nice shirt because we were pretty low key (in that way…). Here I want to make a real impression and to establish myself as a put together, confident, and capable woman. So, I’m pulling out all the stops and doing my best to make myself look like a professional woman.
5. Drink Lots and Lots of Water – Despite my booze ban, I’ve been pretty dehydrated. Between the heat wave and the metric shit ton of coffee I’ve been drinking, I definitely need to be getting more water. I’m way too shallow to let my skin look bad because I’m not drinking enough water.