The Good News: I lost 4.6lbs!

The Bad News: Yesterday it was 5lbs and then I stayed up until after midnight so my body’s retaining weight.

The Good News: This was a much easier “first week” than it was two years ago.

The Bad News: Sugar withdrawals still suck.

Clearly there really isn’t much I can complain about at this point… except perhaps the lack of things to complain about. My life is hard.

I was rather pleased with the result of this first week, especially considering that this time around I’ve been juggling commitments and real life. Last time I tried this I was still unemployed and the very first time I was only working 24 hours a week with nothing else going on. Now I’ve got the full-time job with overtime, vocal training, therapy, two nights a week that I hang out with friends, and very little time for anything else. And I’m so much happier.

That wonderful sense of wellbeing has settled itself back into my bones. The only missing element seems to be initiative. I notice that I’m thinking of things that need to be done, making a list, and then doing nothing about it. I’m not sure why I’m avoiding things but it’s something worth investigating. Sometimes it’s just about needing a (neurotically laid out) plan, other times it’s about laziness, even still, sometimes there’s a deeper issue.

I need to take some time to think about it and figure it out. Guess what I’ll be doing tonight after my voice lesson…

Anyway, let’s talk about goals!

This Week’s Goals

1. Go back to the gym – Oh look, one of the avoidance issues! I don’t care what I do there but I feel like I need to reclaim my space. Ever since I saw Dread (this is my nickname for the person responsible for the rape. He needs a nickname since I’m tired of specifying him by description and since I have no intention of telling his name online) there, I haven’t been able to bring myself to go back. It’s past time to reclaim both my space and my workout regimen.

2. Go to sleep before 11:00pm – I’ve had a lot on my mind lately and it’s been keeping me up a little too late thinking about or writing about it. I really need to be disciplined enough to turn off everything, including my brain, before 11:00pm and go to sleep. I function so much better when I’ve had a whole eight hours of sleep.

3. Practice music a little bit five out of seven days this week – Discipline in my voice training has not been my strongpoint. Ever. Because I’m actually dedicated now, preparing to audition and go back to school in the next few years, and I eventually want a career in performing; it’s time to start being more disciplined here as well. I’m not going to set an amount of time to spend on it for each day but I need to mentally go there at least five out of the seven days this next week.

4. Keep going with the no sugar thing – I’ve been 100% on with no sugar this week and I want to make sure that I stay strong with that again this next week. I’m actually planning on doing it for several more weeks but I’m still going to mentally take it one week at a time. Once the withdrawal period is over I know I’m going to feel great. I’ve made it past the first week so I should be getting there soon!

5. Get my apartment fully restocked – Food, household items, cleaning supplies; I got nothing. Well, I have some because I’ve been working for the last month to budget to actually get myself set up properly. With my tax return I have more than enough to finish out this process. Then, I can start getting more fun and pretty things.


If I can get these five things done, I’ll be quite happy with myself. What are your goals this week?

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