As I sit pouring over my budget spreadsheet that tells me how much money I’ll have for the next three month, I’m overwhelmed with frustration. I’ve had to cut back to the bare minimums in every area of life except for voice lessons and therapy.

While these are definitely the two most important things in my life right now, it’s hard to fork over half my paycheck to them. It’s worth it, but it’s really hard. I could be buying shoes, clothing, furniture, a car, more piercings, or a shiny black motorcycle with all of this money. Instead I’m investing it in a better future.

It’s kind of obnoxious.

Yet, I’m also not making as much money as I should nor am I working at a company that uses the skills I have as effectively as they should. I’ve been looking at my job situation more seriously, lately, and wondering how to change it for the better.

As I mentioned in my goals for the week, the higher ups were discussing promoting me to a position that would use more of my skills and pay me more but the discussion has gone one for long enough with no action.

At a certain point it just begins to feel very similar boy stringing you along. Since I won’t stick around for a boy like that, why would I stick around for a job like that?

While I have a long term career goal that has absolutely nothing to do with the job I currently have, I’d like my plan B day job to also be something I enjoy and something that challenges me.

Administrative assistant? Not so much. It’s pretty much code for “everybody’s bitch at the office.” Most days I like it enough, but it’s not fulfilling. Other days I like it only slightly more than the idea of being homeless and/or selling crack, so I keep my job anyway. I also love most of the people I work with, so that helps.

Maybe the three block commute has something to do with it too…

The question I keep coming back to as I think about what kind of job I’d really like is, “How do people make things happen?”

There are a lot of people out there who conceptualize what they want and just make it happen. There are others who decide that they’d like to start a bajillion dollar company and have it up and running in two days.

That’s probably not actually true.

My point is, though, where did people get these life skills? What did I miss?

I get that some people have really great parents who have taught them this stuff and who supported them through the “trying to make it work” period, but what about those of us who are on our own? Where do we get the life skills training and the “how to make it through the next three months when you know you’re going to be about $200 short at one point?”

I have a somewhat unique challenge. When I was supposed to be graduating college, I was relearning how to walk. I owe money to every debt collector and their mother… and my old college. Part of me feels very “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

Another part of me realizes that I’m miles ahead of where I was a few years ago. Yet another part of my, apparently, very fractured psyche acknowledges that I may be miles ahead of where I was, but I still feel miles behind where I should be.

Playing catch up is hard and it has me asking the question again and again, “what am I missing?” and “how do I get to where I want to be?”

I’ve spent the last few days asking these questions and mulling over them. The answer seems to be somewhat related to intention and planning. So, here’s my guess for how to make things happen and the process I’m going to try:

1) Create a clear and concise image of what you want.

2) Starting at the end result, work your way backward to plan what it will take to get there.

3) Believe that it can be done.

4) Break the process up into the smallest steps possible and start taking action.

It seems overly simplistic but its how I’ve accomplished pretty much everything I’ve achieved so far in life. I’m probably missing some steps but it’s better than nothing.


So, for those of you with real grown up life skills, how do you make things happen? Please share any advice, links, or whatever has helped you along the way.

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