We have to talk about this omelet. I love it. I crave it. I dream about it. I don’t know why it took me over two and a half years to actually cook it myself. Two nights in a row.

I started my love affair with this omelet when I was in college. I had a Sunday ritual, you see. Tea with vanilla creamer at church and then this omelet for lunch afterward; this I did every week. Even when I temporarily became vegan, I still omitted Sundays so that I could have my omelet. I called myself a weekday vegan. That’s commitment for you.

Alas, I was not a vegan for moral reasons, but for my own vanity. I thought it would help me lose weight. I was doing what many Christians refer to as “The Daniel Fast.” It’s a diet of only unprocessed fruit, vegetables, nuts, and other natural things.

We’ll leave that story for another time…

Still, I could not give up this omelet or my tea. Now I have reunited with both. Life is good.

Welcome to my new kitchen.

That was before I actually put anything in it. Here’s a more accurate view of what’s going on here.

Let’s make an omelet, shall we?

Here’s what you’ll need:

Yes that is a glass of champagne. In my kitchen the champagne is mandatory. Also, the Extra Virgin Olive Oil is not pictured because it didn’t look artsy. Oh, and significantly less olives than pictured actually made it in to the omelet because I couldn’t stop munching on them. Oops.

Chop everything into bite size bits. You’re not getting a picture of this one because I can’t chop and snap photos at the same time. I mean, maybe I could but I like my fingers more than this post. Priorities, people.

Beat two eggs in a bowl and add salt and pepper to taste.

Pour some of that un-pictured Extra Virgin Olive Oil in a pan and let it heat on medium. If you flick a small amount of water into the pan and it sizzles slightly, you’ll know it’s hot enough. When you get that going, pour all of the vegetables and turkey in the pan (probably grab some more olives from the fridge) and sauté them until it’s hard to resist eating them straight… erm… or something like that. Okay, the mushrooms should brown slightly and the spinach should wilt.

Spread out all of your ingredients in the pan evenly and pour the egg over it. Tilt the pan as necessary to fill in all of the crevices.

Sip champagne while you try not to salivate.

This is usually the point at which I use my master ninja flipping skills to flip this thing without a spatula but when you use a pan that is over 12 inches across, that just isn’t going to happen. Sadly my omelet just took a turn for the ugly/not-actually-an-omelet because I can’t flip and fold it.

Fail.

If you don’t have master ninja flipping skills or if your pan is too big too, just break it up into pieces and flip them individually. When the egg is cooked through, sprinkle your cheese on it (that I broke up because I was too lazy to shred it), let the cheese melt a bit, and slip it onto a plate.

I was hoping that by picturing it with booze it would look more appetizing. I don’t think it worked. What if I put it next to some oatmeal?

That’s the only picture of oatmeal you’ll ever see on my blog…

Still ugly.

Does this help?

No? Burt the Bear is highly offended. Oh well. This is why I’m not a food blogger. If you want actual quality in your recipe posts, you’d better head over and see Meredith.

Ingredients:
2 Eggs
4 Crimini Mushrooms
1 Cup of Baby Spinach
4 Slices of Turkey (I usually use cubes of turkey but this was all I could get this time)
A Handful of Olives
A Few Pinches of Cheddar Cheese
Salt and Pepper To Taste
2-3 Tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Vegan Version:
Tofu or This Recipe (that pretty much makes mine unnecessary)
4 Crimini Mushrooms

1 Cup of Baby Spinach
4 Slices of Turkey (Cut up Tofurkey Sausages would be a good Vegan Alternative)
A Handful of Olives
Daiya Cheddar Style Shreds
Salt and Pepper To Taste
2-3 Tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil

*Thank you to AJ who provided most of the vegan alternatives I have listed here!

Directions:

1. Chop all dry ingredients  into bit sized pieces.
2.  Heat pan with oil on medium heat until it spits back if water is flicked at it.
3. Sauté ingredients except for cheese until mushrooms are browned and spinach is wilted.
4. While dry ingredients sauté, whisk two eggs in a bowl until homogeneous and add salt and pepper to taste.
5. Pour eggs over dry ingredients and tilt pan to fill in any gaps.
6. Flip omelet or break it apart and flip individual pieces when the bottom of the egg is cooked.
7. When the eggs are nearly cooked through spread cheese on omelet.
8. Put on plate and enjoy with Champagne, tea, or any other beverage of your choice.
Yum.

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