Is there a store where I can buy a new vocal filter? Mine seems to be broken. Don’t worry, this is not a rant post today. I’ve been doing enough of that in real life.

I’ve been neurotically tracking the physical changes I’ve noticed from weight loss and you can see those in the Huh… I Didn’t Expect That… section. What I haven’t tracked as closely is the mental changes. While I totally believe that weight loss is mostly mental it’s harder to track those changes. They are so much more subjective and constantly in flux. Just because I feel a certain way one day doesn’t mean I will feel that way tomorrow. It’s easier to look at the long term patterns overall but that takes time. I guess, though, you could consider this blog a way of tracking my mental changes… or a way of watching me slowly fall down the slippery slope of insanity…

One distinctly positive mental change snuck up on me so surreptitiously ninja style that when I was confronted with it I almost exclaimed in surprise. Almost. Two days ago while I was walking from day job to evening job I decided to take the hill route and get my heart rate up a little. By get my heart rate up a little I mean heart pounding, face beet red, huffing and puffing, OMG this hill will kill me right now. It was a good little workout. While I was battling the hill to the beat of “Boots and Boys” I walked past a guy. I didn’t really take notice of him except to notice that I didn’t take much notice of him. Sounds redundant? Let me explain.

I’ve always been a walker but I’ve also always been ashamed of anyone seeing me exert myself and hear me huffing and puffing. When I walked past the guy I couldn’t have cared less if he heard and saw me. I don’t remember if he took any more note of me than I did of him.

This is like for real serious progress guys. When I used to walk past someone in this sort of situation I would literally hold my breath for a minute because I didn’t want them to know that I was struggling and breathing hard. I did feel a little more self conscious when I got to work because a few of the guys asked me if I had been running and I was still short of breath. For some reason I generally feel a little more self conscious around this one guy… no, not that guy. I still didn’t hold my breath or try to hide it. I just smiled and told them I had taken the hill. The one guy (again, not that guy) hasn’t known me for very long and hasn’t seen the progress that the others have so I don’t think he believes that I really am losing weight. I shouldn’t care but I do.

That night we had a very interesting conversation fueled by a racist comment of one of my coworkers about being PC, making fun of people, and who are the last people safe for taking jabs at. I said that I thought fat people were, another said cuckolds, another said Texans, another said stupid people. What do you think?

Tune in for a weekend update with pictures from my new camera!

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