Or Why You Should Never Wax at Home

This week’s Skanky Tuesday is brought to you by Leah, Your Nutritionista. In addition to being a fellow Hollaback Girl, she had one of the most interesting blogs I’ve yet to read. It’s one of the few where I bookmark, email, and reread posts. If you aren’t a reader of her blog yet, I highly recommend it!

I’m not going to lie: I’m not the ideal candidate for waxing. My hair isn’t blond or fine — it’s dark and pretty course for a white girl. So what I’m about to say might not apply to you. But I feel all women (and men who like the hairless look) should hear my story.

It all started a few years ago, when I got my first Brazilian bikini wax. I was freaking out, so I made my friend go with me to the salon. Once I got in the room with the friendly Iranian lady who would be my waxer, I calmed down a bit. I’m not going to lie: It was a painful experience. PAIN. FULL. But I loved the result! My skin down there felt so soft and smooth, and I truly didn’t have to shave (except for a few touch-ups) for weeks. It felt near miraculous, since I’m the type of girl who has to shave her legs every day if I want them to be totally smooth.

I kept going back to the salon for a Brazilian every few months — or when I could afford it. But not too long after that first appointment, I decided that getting waxed was just too expensive to justify. Topping out at around $50, it just seemed ridiculous for a pretty broke college grad.

So I decided it was time to try self-waxing. (If you hear a “dum dum dum,” you have the right idea.)

I went to a beauty supply store and got the best bikini wax kit I could find (I think it cost around $25, but would last 2-3 waxes). I went with a stripless wax, which basically means the warm wax goes directly on your skin and then gets pulled off. The kit I got came with a skin primer, the wax, after-wax lotion, and a solution to remove the wax in case it gets in unwanted places (foreshadow alert!).

I took the wax home and followed the instructions for heating it and applying it to my bikini area. I’m not going to lie: It hurt — A LOT. But the results that first time were actually pretty comparable to what the pro did, for less than a fourth of the cost! I was pumped. Plus, now I wouldn’t have to deal with some stranger up in my vag for 20 minutes. Bonus! I think the second time I used the waxing kit went pretty well also.

But the third time made me wish I had never started self-waxing at all. I remember it like it was yesterday: I was in the bathroom at my current apartment, getting ready to have a successful wax like I had done the few times before. I had my wax heated up and all my equipment was at my disposal. I think it started off well, but it quickly went down hill.

Somehow, I got a huge amount of wax on an area I DID NOT intend to wax. (I’m not a fan of the hairless chihuahua vagina look, so I didn’t want to be totally bald!) Anyway, let’s just say that the solution that was supposed to remove the wax didn’t work quite as effectively as I had hoped it would. I had to practically BATHE in the stuff just to loosen the wax a tiny bit! And I could tell the rest just wasn’t budging.

So I did what I had to do: I closed my eyes, and I ripped it off. I ripped off hair that I did NOT want off. And it hurt like a MOTHER. I consider myself to have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I actually screamed in pain several times during this debacle. My skin was red, puffy, and irritated for days. And of course, since I didn’t exactly want to have a repeat performance on the other side, I had to leave it uneven (I think I later shaved the other side to match). Suffice it to say, it was a really, really unpleasant experience.

Maybe if I had been more careful, it would have been fine. Maybe if my were hair weren’t so difficult, it would have been easy. Or maybe, if I had used strips, it wouldn’t have been so tricky to get the wax off. Who knows. All I do know is that I don’t think it’s worth the pain, hassle, and risk of tearing your skin off just to save a few bucks. Either shave, go au natural, or get a profesh to wax you. Just don’t do it yourself. My two cents, for what it’s worth.

Reading that might just be enough to keep me from ever trying an at home kit, what about you? Do you have any waxing horror stories? Please share!