Several years ago I met a guy on a Greyhound bus. I was coming home for the summer and didn’t have enough money for a plane. I thought it would be an adventure and I guess it was. He wasn’t my type and I certainly wasn’t his. Generally I was a little too innocent and he umm… wasn’t. I started talking to him because he was part of a group in the back of the bus being waaay too loud at midnight and I figured that if I wasn’t going to get to sleep I might as well be amused.

He let me know pretty clearly that he wanted to take me in the bathroom and pin me against the wall. I declined. Being the attention whore that I am, though, I wasn’t about to walk away from a guy who wanted me. He still pulled me close and ran his hands through my hair, down my neck, around my waist, and everywhere I would let him get his hands (i.e. not under my clothes… remember, complete stranger here). I knew it was sketchy and I didn’t care. At one point he commented, “Wow, you really like to be touched.”

Well yes, yes I do. Nowadays, once a week I get naked and get groped. Why? Well, you could say it’s because I like being touched, but that’s not the only reason. The official name for this groppage is massage therapy but that sounds significantly less enticing.

Thank goodness I have good insurance because my broke ass definitely couldn’t afford it otherwise. If you are overweight you should look into whether or not your insurance will cover massage therapy.

Sadly I do not have a hot male masseur (preferably French), mine is female, motherly, and really knows how to break up that scar tissue. Yep, that bursts the hotness bubble. I recommend massage therapy for a few reasons:

1. Excess weight is hard on your body: Massage therapy can help to alleviate many of the aches and pains caused my carrying around too much weight. Your body generally compensates when it can tell that some thing’s wrong and will tighten muscles to try to protect itself. A massage therapist will help to loosen up constrictions and  tightness. Less pain from these sorts of things will change your life completely and prevent future problems.

2. Massage aids recovery after an intense workout: If you’ve ever had one of those OMFG I AM GOING TO DIE FROM THIS WORKOUT!!! workouts, a massage will help to reduce the soreness after the fact and get you back in the game a little sooner.

3. Touch is therapeutic: Now, I’m not saying that fat people in general don’t get touched… but I don’t. My own displeasure with my body has made me really uncomfortable with being touched in general. Massage helps me to get past that and to stop focusing on the body loathing that only fuels my weight struggles further. For anyone who has any issues with being touched in general whether it be from weight or abuse or anything else, massage is an amazing tool.

To sum it up less pain is good and being touched is awesome. P.S. I hope that neither my mother or my massage therapist finds this post… awkward.