7:30am: Why am I awake? My alarm isn’t going to go off for another fifteen minutes. Grumble, grumble, grumble, ooh! I want a banana!
That’s pretty much what my inner monologue sounded like on Wednesday morning as I prepared to strike out for my first run since the Running Drunk Incident and since I broke my toe. Ouch and ouch. Originally I was going to run on Monday since that was the six week mark but due to “the universe hates me/beware flying printers” incident… oh, and the missing shoes, it wasn’t really an option.
Tuesday I was tired from walking all over my lovely city.
Wednesday, that was the day for running. It’s Business Time.
Morning, that was the time, partly because I wanted to make sure that I really did it and partly because I have to move my car by 8:00am anyway so I might as well.
So, off I went to the significantly less hoity-toity 24 Hour Fitness here in downtown (I miss you pretentious Issaquah location and your pretty showers with doors!!!) to do intervals. The plan was to run for a minute and walk for two, repeat. Clearly this called for Lady Gaga music.
As I tried my hardest not to sing along and/or break out into dance during my warm-up, I was almost afraid of the running.
“What if my kidney hurts again?”
“What if my toe is reinjured… or breaks in half… or just plain snaps off??? How will I wear peep toe shoes then!?!?!?”
“Oh wait, I don’t like peep toe shoes.”
“What if I just gained back all of my weight in the last 3 minutes and running is too hard again?”
And then the time came.
Interval One: Noooooo… body doesn’t want to mooooove. Why the jelly inside bouncing too much??? Why the flub move???
Interval Two: Oh, maybe my legs do want to move like this. Hmm… the bouncing feels a little less sore. Remember Kendra, the first ten intervals are all in your head.
Interval Three: Oh… this is why I love running so much. I can fly!
Interval Four: My kidney! No, not the kidney, side stitch. Breathe properly Kendra, come on, you can do this. Inhale 2-3, Exhale 2-3, Inhale 2-3, Exhale 2-3. Yes, that’s how we prevent death.
Interval Five: Breathing, check. Got it. This is totally easy again! Oh, stop slouching! Shit! Was that a twinge in my toe? Am I imagining things? Man I forgot how much I sweat when I run. My skin is going to be totally soft when I’m done. Awesome.
Interval Six: No, the toe is fine. Is that Saved By The Bell on TV? Geez, I haven’t seen that show in ages… oh sixty seconds are up. I need more of a challenge, I’m going to do the last two intervals .5mph faster.
Interval Seven: Well, maybe just the last one. No one likes an overachiever… Oh, Kendra, stop being a lazy ass and do it! Maybe I should make that omelet again for dinner. Mmm… omelet. I’m hungry.
Interval Eight: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! What a coincidence, I’m listening to Show Me Your Teeth as a teeth whitening commercial comes on. That lady’s holding a sign that actually says “Show me your teeth!” Maybe I should whiten my teeth a little more. I mean, look good but they could be whiter and I do have half of the box left. Yes, I can totally run at 6mph without inducing sudden death.
Interval Nine: Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. You’re almost done, last one, don’t die. If you die now you won’t get to have a wrap for wrap day. Don’t stop!!! 15 more seconds!!! Done!
Cool Down: Clearly this calls for a happy dance… no, wait, just get through the cooldown first. One foot in front of the other, keep moving. Why is this cooldown not actually cooling me down? Damn I’m red! Hey, I survived, score one for the home team.
Damn, it felt good to run again!