I am well aware that neither of those words of my title are actual words, but that’s just how much of a badass I am. That’s right, I make up my own words. Like Shakespeare.
I do what I want.
I totally mean that in the white trash, I could be on Maury way. Come to think of it, recent behavior might actually be able to get me on Maury. Actually, not quite, my grammar isn’t poor enough. Seriously, though, who didn’t love the Chicken Tetrazzini episode?
Incidentally, I only saw it because I was visiting my sister, my TV watching incidences few and far between.
I digress.

For the moment…

The last few months have been amazing, stressful, exciting, and absolutely draining. It wasn’t until my recent blood tests that I found out why I felt so haggard. I’ve been extremely lacking in both Vitamin D and Iron. The result? A very tired, achy, and anxious Kendra. Bye bye badassery.

I’ve spent the last week or so taking profuse amounts of both. Yes, I can still poop. No, I have not used the “I’m walking funny because of the iron” excuse yet. Yet. I’m also starting to feel human again.

So, last night I went running again for the first time in weeks. I’m not going to lie, it was a fucking hard run and I stopped two-thirds of the way through because I knew that my body simply wasn’t ready to take on the full thing again. I didn’t feel bad.

We certainly need to know when to push ourselves but sometimes we also have to know when to stop. I needed to stop. It was still a good workout.

This morning I’m definitely feeling the effects of the run. It might have been too soon because while I fell asleep a little early, I feel a level of exhaustion that’s been the theme since the beginning of November. The word lassitude has never been more relevant.

So, I’m going to try something new for a while. I’ve never been a yoga type. I don’t really do Zen. I mean, I like being fast paced, high energy, and moderately to highly spastic, it’s just the way I am. My gym offers yoga quite often, though, and I think it could benefit me in several ways.

Firstly, it’s low impact. My scar tissue really starts to ache in the damp winter and while exercise definitely helps reduce that pain, getting started again can be hard. Secondly, I’ve been losing flexibility since starting to run more. I like my flexibility and I’d rather not lose it. Third, it’s a new and shiny thing for me so I might actually do it for a while before defaulting back to running.

Or I might hate it.

I guess we’ll find out.
So, how is all of this actually relevant to reharnessing badassery? I’m taking control again. I’m telling vitamin deficiencies, scar tissue, and anxiety that it can go fuck itself because I won’t be controlled by any of them. I’m stronger than that and I will win. I’m throwing excuses and restraints aside and will get what I want anyway. Obstacles are only a challenge.

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