It’s the goddamn gift that keeps on giving.

So, I recently developed plantar fasciitis in my right foot. It’s delightful. After spending about six months pretending that nothing was wrong, as I am known to do, I finally took action. I found out what the pain was, started doing stretches and exercises, bought inserts for my shoes, and made sure to sleep differently so I wasn’t pointing my toe at night. I cannot, however, ice my foot as so many like to suggest to me because I also have a condition called Cold Urticaria.

I am literally allergic to cold. If my skin gets too cold I start breaking out in hives and welts. Bad ones. If I drink liquids that are too cold, I start choking. It’s pretty serious. However, the phrase “I’m allergic to cold” is apparently not very convincing. I get eye rolls all  the time and/or people being like, “me too, but not really, ha ha.”

So, as a result I keep having the following interaction:

Them: Have you tried icing your heel?

Me: No, I can’t. I’m allergic to cold.

Them: Okay, but it will help it get better fast so you really should.

Me: No, I’m literally allergic to the cold. I have an allergic reaction when my skin gets too cold.

Them: But it really will help ease the pain. Just try it.

Me:

Them: Trust me, my wife has plantar fasciitis too. It really helps her to ice it.

Me:

The End