So they say, but what’s inside of me right now is a whole lot of yellow goop, leaking from all the holes in my face. It’s coming out my nose, crusting around my eyes, being coughed up from the mouth, my ears are even especially waxy and adding to the yellow theme. Far be it from them to be left out. I’m going to the doctor tonight to try to get an antibiotic. I’m just not getting better and everything still hurts.

On the bright side, I did obsessively weigh myself again this morning and saw what I so badly wanted to see yesterday. 279.2 my friends.

How much does mucus weigh?

About yesterday…
While I didn’t have the voice to go to work, I wanted to keep an appointement that I had with 24 hour fitness, so I went and got my free seven day membership. I want to take advantage of one of their current offers and sign up for real by Wednesday but it all depends on me getting my check card in the mail. Maybe I can think of a way to do it without it. We’ll see. After leaving, I got a call from my sister and we decided that we were going to go shopping since I needed new running shoes and pants and she needed groceries and to get out of the house.

I most definitely got my exercise in! We walked and walked and then she wanted to smoke so she asked me to walk with my lovely baby niece’s stroller for a while so that she could ask people for a cigarette. I had a little too much fun with that, I started winding and running in circles and all that and had a lovely time all the while burning tons of calories. After the whole affair I went home and collapsed. And slept 14 hours.

Onward to today…

I loused up almost all of my goals for the week today. I did not get out of bed until after 3pm, I didn’t plan my meals, and I didn’t even get my normal weekly meal ingredients. I was incredibly tired and sore this morning and nothing was stronger than the call of my pillow. Although I first awoke around 11am, I was not getting up except to fling myself out of bed to pee. Today, unlike most days, I was succesful in just going back to sleep, though.

When I did finally get up I decided that I was going to make my first workout today and that I was going to go to the doctor tonight. I also went to see my mother and to drop some things off with her. While there, she outted me to another person, telling them that I had lost 17lbs. I had wanted to generally wait until people noticed to actually say anything, but I’ve slipped on that a few times.

Well, I got myself all packed and went to the gym and decided that I was going to completely ignore the presence of anybody else there. So what if I was THE fat girl there, so what if I couldn’t keep up with anyone else there, who cares if anyone else noticed me tomato red and jiggly as I was running, who cares if they judged me because I only did 20 minutes of intervals. Shove it. I just plain decided that time at the gym was going to be self centered time. I would not look at others and, therefore, would not notice others looking at me.

I’ve had a long history of gym memberships so I think that it helped in my comfort factor with the whole thing. I just feel that the gym is a place where nobody has the right to judge anyone else. So I went, I ran intervals doing a three minute 3.5mph walking warm-up, 30 second 4.5 mph intervals with 60 second 3.0 mph in between for fifteen minutes, and then five minutes of 3.0 mph to cool down. After I did that I rinsed myself off and got in the pool. I didn’t do much, but at least it was something. I did two laps with a kickboard just doing scissor kicks and then one lap doing freestyle. After that I got in the hot tube and spent a little bit of time in the steam room, showered, and waddled out.

It was nice to be back at the gym, there is a feeling you get from a workout at a gym that you just don’t get when you are going solo. I don’t really know how to describe it, but I am a big fan of gym memberships. It’s funny, though, because I remember that when I decided to start this whole thing I thought to myself that there was absolutely no way that I was going to workout in public until I got to a certain level of fitness but today I couldn’t care less who saw me doing what. I was doing it and that was what mattered. If anyone out there wants to exercise but is afraid of what they will look like or that people will see them, just remember that the people around you are sweating and focusing on themselves too. True, sometimes people will look or stare, but you are there for yourself, no one else and don’t let anyone ruin that for you.

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