I’ve been having trouble getting to the gym lately. No. I haven’t been going to the gym lately. To be having trouble with something you have to actually be putting in effort. I do not qualify. I’ve struggled with it in my head but when it comes to action, I’ve done nothing. Today I do have my gym bag with me that I will at least bring to the gym. Maybe I can make myself do something too.

Here’s the thing, I’ve wanted to go and have craved the feeling of exerting myself but certain (stupid) things have prevented me from actually getting back in there. Does anybody else struggle with reasons excuses like these?

1. I’m tired. I work too much and don’t want to cause complete exhaustion by using all of my energy to work out.

2. I feel like I don’t know what to do. I’m a little gun shy since the flesh wound and despite wanting to run, I don’t want another flesh wound. I also don’t really want to do strength training because that’s an area where I feel more than a little lost.

3. I don’t know how hard to push myself after a long break like this. I don’t want to go back and take it too easy because that feels like a waste of time but I don’t want to push myself too hard because I don’t want to exhaust myself with another job to go for the evening.

Maybe my reasons are valid or at least are understandable but they are still in the way of me getting back in the game. The last two seem to be the bigger issues in my mind but probably the dumber ones. There are tons of ways to do cardio without hurting myself, I just don’t want to do them. I like running and like the little brat that I am, I don’t want to do anything else .

The last reason is also complete rubbish. No level of exertion is ever a waste of time. Firstly, it gets you moving and that’s good. Secondly, it starts momentum again and that’s priceless. It moves you in the direction of a good habit rather than a bad one. My mother’s always taught me to look at things in this way. Every thing you do either contributes to enforcing a habit or breaking one. The action is always important in a larger context than just that one moment.

It’s one reason I haven’t had any candy at work. The candy bowl is right behind me and it’s filled with some of my favorite things. I could just have one, but I won’t. Having one would break my habit of abstaining and that’s a habit I want. I can get candy in other places if I feel so inclined. It’s not that I’m saying its off limits completely, just that one bowl in particular.