I like to watch people while I’m doing strength training. Actually, I like to watch people between reps so that I can pretend that I’m doing anything else. I’m a people watcher by nature and it’s enlightening to realize all the ridiculous things that are going on around you if you just pay attention.

Last night traffic was against me because of some mysterious lane closure, of which I never discovered the purpose. I was too late getting to the gym (mother*cking traffic) to participate in the class I wanted to attend so I decided to wing it and use the weight machines and do some body weight exercises as well.

I felt like I was playing I-Spy for creepy men. There was one who picked his exercise locations strategically depending on where a blond woman was lifting weights. At first I thought it was a coincidence but I soon realized that he was choosing machines that positioned him facing her ample breast implants.

Between the obvious oogling and the very poor form he was using, I had to work hard not to laugh at him. Because of the oogling, though, he did not notice this.

Then, there was the guy in cargo khaki shorts, a button up shirt, and flip flops. I silently hoped that he would drop a weight on his foot just for his stupidity. I’m a douche, I know.

He was an interesting specimen to watch, though, because he would use low weight and only do a few reps (also with extremely poor form) and then move on. I wondered what the point was. He seemed completely in his own world, totally dazed. He wasn’t stalking anyone with his eyes and clearly wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He was just there, glazed.

There was also the guy who reminded me of Reggie from Lady In The Water. You remember him, right? The guy who only worked out one side of his body… This guy wasn’t quite as bad as that but he did have significantly larger muscles in his right shoulder than in his left. I guess that certain types of one handed strenuous activity could have that effect…

Is that a barbell or are you just happy to see me?

Maybe it was the mascara I forgot to remove beforehand or possibly my Rainbow Bright headband but one guy kept giving me a smile and a chin thrust.

I am not one of those girls who are attractive while working out. I mean, I turn this strange dark red that I didn’t know live humans were capable of turning, for one thing. My hair goes every direction despite being in a pony tail and being slicked back by my rainbow bright headband. My boobs are strapped tightly enough my body that you’d think I was trying to smuggle them into Canada and I’m not exactly fashionably dressed in my dingy dark colors.

Yeah, that’s hot. Really, really hot.

I guess in the future I can convince myself to do strength training just for the people watching in between sets even if I hate doing shoulder exercises. And I do.

What’s the funniest and strangest things you’ve seen while in the weight room? Please share your stories!

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