Does anybody else ever have those days where they just don’t really like themselves? Today is one of those days.
They seem to happen mostly when you have someone to compare yourself with. Perhaps today’s self loathing started when I arrived at work only to find that the elevator was broken and that we would be using the stairs… The STAIRS???? I work on the sixth floor. Okay, okay, I know that out there someone is smugly sneering and thinking, “Come on fatty, lug your wide load up those stairs and burn a few calories,” but to a gal who is not accustomed to doing such things, to suddenly have to in front of three of my fit, trim, and good looking co-workers was a little …undesirable of a situation.
After I got to the top without popping a lung, I took a minute before walking into our office suite because I didn’t want to enter red faced and panting.
I have one co-worker in particular… well manager that is… who is so nice, caring, cool, and all the things that I feel like I am not that every time I even begin to compare myself with her I feel so completely annoyed with myself that I start acting petulant and just perpetuating my annoyance with myself. I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others in general and especially not to someone who is a little older and really has their life in a good place (and is skinny and beautiful), but it is hard when you spend six days a week with people not to notice some glaring differences between you and them.
Tomorrow is another day and although my body cannot instantly change, my behavior can.