You’d think that I’d be really happy with that number today and I would except that yesterday the number was 265.8 and I had officially lost over 30lbs. Because 265lbs was the weight at which I was before the accident I’ve been a little fixated on it since the beginning. I liked that fact that it was the weight that would put me over 30 lbs lost and the weight that made me feel like the damage from the accident was finally gone. I had worked through the pain, the injuries, the PTSD, the bad coping mechanisms, and all that was left was the weight. I’m so close and it kills me.

I spent this morning reminding myself that the exact number from this point in time doesn’t matter. It’s another piece of data that tells me that I am still progressing and that confirms that I retain weight when I don’t sleep well or don’t get enough sleep. Last night I didn’t sleep well and I expected that the weigh in wasn’t going to be fabulous. The only reason it actually matters to me is because I arbitrarily set Mondays for official weigh-in day and that is the number that I report and the number that shows up in my graph. It’s just an ego thing. I’m back to feeling more reasonable and I realized that it will just make next week’s loss look bigger. I can handle waiting another week for my “official” weigh in to reflect me passing the 30lb mark and the accident weight.

Deep breath and moving on.

I failed miserably on my goals this week. I didn’t even try. I was too tired and distracted.

Last week’s goals:

1) Strength Training three times – Only if this includes lugging bags up three flights of stairs every night
2) At least one new vegetable again – Kale! I tried kale chips and also reintroduced several other back into the mix. I can check this one off.
3) Bed by 9:30 again – this one is SO important – In Bed, Yes; Asleep, No. This was an abysmal failure
4) Take bus to work at least three times – let’s try this one again! – If by bus you mean my shiny green convertible, then absolutely.
5) Do the steam room twice, it did help – I’ve got nothing witty for this one, I didn’t do it.

This Week’s Goals:
1) Two Intervals: My flesh wound did not heal so I assume this wasn’t actually the cause of it. I’m running again
2) Do weights once – I still feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing so I’m not such a fan at this point.
3) Get ready for bed by 9:15 – New tactic, plan start time, not end time.
4) One cup of sweetened tea per day, as much as I want unsweetened
5) Eat afternoon snack and dinner. I’m terrible about these meals. I just don’t get them as diligently.

I promise a progress picture some time this week.

Leave a Comment