Um… yeah.

That’s the bad news.

I honestly have no idea how much of that is true weight gain and how much is holiday bloat. I guess the next few weeks will tell. I do know that it’ about ten pound heavier than I was just before the holiday. Oop.

I’m ready to be accountable again, though. I’m ready to show up again and be honest.

I gained some weight.

I gained a lot of weight.

It sucks but it isn’t the end of the world. I wasn’t okay and I stopped taking care of myself but I’ve been taking steps back in the right direction and being accountable again is definitely one of those steps that it’s time to take.

What else have I done?

Here’s the good news!

Cooking: I’ve been cooking most of my meals ahead of time like I used to do. It’s always been a great contribution to my success, not to mention to my budget and my taste buds. I have a few new recipes that I want to try and that I might work into my regular routine.

Water: I’ve been making a much greater effort to drink enough water. I haven’t tracked it as neurotically as I used to but I do know I’ve been sucking it down like crazy.

Vitamins: While I’m a pretty staunch believer in getting your vitamins from your food and not from a pill, I’m also a believer in realizing your limitations. I’m just not going to be able to do that from the get go and I want to make sure that I’m getting all the nutrients I should.

Sleep: This one finally became a natural rhythm. I hoped it would eventually but wasn’t all that optimistic. Happily, I can report that my body clock got with the times and I’m getting enough sleep now. I’m also taking the opportunity to nap on my lunch hour which helps me a lot in the afternoon and the evenings.

Still missing?

Focus: Things have been really, “eh, I’ll just do this today” and that never really works well for me. I like to have a schedule, a plan, a spreadsheet, etc. Being really relaxed with my general plan has been necessary for the moment as I was focusing on dealing with my head before my ass but I’d like to get a little more organized and a little more focused.

Exercise: People still do this, right? Yeah, not me. I haven’t officially worked out since… never mind. I have no idea. Today I did the workout that I was going to start months ago and I’m hoping to do this three times a week for four weeks to build strong stabilization muscles before moving on to more challenging workouts. Thank you to Suzanne from Workout Nirvana for not only providing me with this workout for also for not showing annoyance when I promptly ignored it for several months! Incidentally, I also hate you a little bit in the pushups section.

Goals: Because I wasn’t following through with any of my goals they just felt pointless to set in the first place. I don’t make empty threats, promises, or offers so I hated doing this. I needed to take a break from it so that I could actually feel honest when I came back to making goals again.

So, for the first time in a very long time, let’s talk goals!

This Week’s Goals

1. Do the workout three times: It’s a strength training workout for your stabilizing muscles that should get me back in the swing of things without leaving me too sore to function. Apparently I was jumping in too quickly and doing too much and that was why I was so sore or so long when I was doing strength training on a regular basis. I need to lay down the foundation before I start properly kicking my own ass.

2. Get gym things back together and in order: I really didn’t want to cancel my gym membership because I love 24-Hour Fitness but I haven’t gone in months. The last time I was there I ran into the person who raped me in April. I stood there paralyzed and completely unsure of what to do. He smiled and looked excited to see me. I’m now planning on going to a different and brand new club that requires a longer bus ride but prevents such run-ins. I need to get my bag packed again and all my things together so that when I (probably) start running again next week I’ll be ready to go.

3. Plan breakfasts: So, I used to eat those egg cups. Maybe I want to go back to those but I’m not totally sure. I need to look at the nutrition data of some of the options I might choose and make plans based off of that.

So, there we have it. That felt kind of good. What’s the good and bad news in your life? What are your goals for the week?