It turns out that being nearly deathly ill and totally unable to stomach food is pretty good for weight loss. Interestingly, the fever was pretty damn good for my skin too. It’s quite soft again. Overall I think I’d recommend a kidney infection as a good way to jumpstart both your weight loss and your skincare regimen.


Though I did get quite rested…

Still, no.

After mostly sleeping through the weekend, this morning my life became all too eventful. I woke up at 4:00am this morning. 4:00 in the freaking morning… no, 4:00am at night. That’s night time people, I don’t care what any of you early birds say. On the weekends I’m usually still up at 4:00am! But no, I woke up. I woke up and could not fall back to sleep.

So, I tossed and turned and moped and grumbled and willed myself back to sleep. Still awake… Then I read for a little while and listened to music. Still awake… So, I drank some water and ate some yogurt. Still awake…

Fuck it, I decided, I’m going running!

Today is the first day that I’m allowed to run again. Incidentally, I can also get another set of piercings as well but I think I’ll wait a few more weeks. I excitedly put on my pink running underwear, my brand new sports bra, my pink running tank top, my pink running socks, and my running pants (black). I grabbed my iPod and went to finally pull my pink running shoes out of isolation.

They weren’t in my (pink and black) gym bag. I dumped out my bag of shoes. They weren’t anywhere to be seen. I searched in every bag and box in my apartment. Nada. They MUST be in my car, I thought. I run out to check. Upon rounding the corner to my car I notice some… debris around it. Strange… Someone has apparently dropped a printer/scanner out of a window. Welcome to downtown.

Whatever, I want my shoes. I scour my backseat, back storage area, and trunk. They aren’t to be found. They MUST be at work. Sometimes I leave shoes at work… As a last ditch cover-all-my-bases I text my mom and ask her if she’s seen my shoes. No answer.

I go back inside admitting defeat for the moment but reminding myself that I can still run that evening if I find them at work. I pout all the way to the shower, taking a moment to consider the bottle of vodka I have on the counter. I mean, I’ve been up for quite some time; it wouldn’t really count as drinking first thing in the morning…

Just kidding.

Who drinks Sweet Tea Vodka at 7:30am, anyway? Clearly champagne is the way to go.

I get ready and prance out of my apartment thinking that I can stop by my mom’s before work to check on my missing shoes.

Upon approaching my car this time I notice debris on top of my car as well.

They didn’t drop the printer near my car, they dropped it on my car.


I walk around to the front and see that my windshield is shattered. How did I not notice that before??? There’s also a broken X-Box across the street that had been thrown as well.

Angry woman?

I wait two hours for the police to show up while my mom makes calls and finds out that a new windshield will cost less than my deductible. I’ll never know who threw the damn thing but I find out later that apparently this building is known for having things tossed from it.

I’ll never park there again.

Deep breaths.

Goals for this week

1. RUN! I get to run again! I get to run again! I get to run again! I get to run again! I get to run again! I get to run again! I get to run again! I’ll make it a goal to run twice this week.

2. Start cooking at home. I’m not quite fully equipped to make any masterpiece meals but I do have chicken and green beans. That’s good enough for me!

3. No sugar.I was going to give up sugar for lent but when I got sick I started eating whatever I could stomach… which was not much. Some sugar definitely made it down my throat because of it. I’m going to eliminate it this week and take it a week at a time with this one.

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