This week tested me in pretty much every way possible. On Monday I was completely blindsided by something that not only shocked me into silence (I’m sure you can guess what a challenge that is), but completely changed my view of one of the important people in my life.
I sat in silence for over two hours staring at my cell phone. I tried to decide whether to attempt to get answers or let it go. I tried to figure out how I felt and only came up with a blank. So, in the absence of any idea of what to do or how to process what I had just heard I texted my best friends for moral support.
On Tuesday, I found out about a miscommunication that may not have been rectified in time for me to still be hired somewhere that had been the strongest job prospect I’ve had yet. When I had left the interview last Thursday they had told me to expect to hear from HR to be hired. Now, it looked doubtful that I would still get the job.
I tried to clean, spend time with people, and generally distract myself. I was moderately successful but still…
In the afternoon I got an unexpected call regarding a resume I had sent out as an empty gesture to be able to continue to collect unemployment. The job felt just beyond what I thought myself qualified for, but I had sent the resume anyway. I scheduled an interview for Thursday afternoon and prepared myself for impending disappointment.
Wednesday became a blissfully busy day of helping a friend, discussing the events of Monday, and planning ahead for the interview.
Then my hot water went out.
Really? Like, does the universe just hate me right now? I mean, I was shat on by a crow on the preceding Friday afternoon.
I made arrangements to use someone else’s shower that morning before going back to my apartment to get ready for the interview. When I got back, I turned on the water to fill up a water bottle only to find that while I had been gone that morning the hot water had been fixed.
On Friday morning I woke up to a call from where I had just interviewed and was asked if I could come in for a second interview that afternoon. In stark contrast to the day before, it just felt awkward. I couldn’t get a read on the person with whom I was speaking and I left feeling that it wasn’t going to happen.
When I went to pick up my car from my mom’s husband who had been borrowing it to go help my friend again before going to a party, I was informed that I could not take my car. Earlier in the day he had started having issues with it seemingly overheating but neglected to tell me until I came to pick it up.
I actually held my temper.
I walked out in the hall, called my mom, and we figured out how I could do the evening by bus.
Yeah, we don’t know what’s wrong with my car.
The next day I finally decided to dye my hair back to the natural darker color it had been before the sun got to it this summer. I had gone from this:
It was cute and summery but didn’t feel very me. So, on Saturday I tried to correct it and put it back to the natural color. Apparently, by “brown” the box actually meant “black” because here’s what I ended up with.
All of the versions of this picture I tried to take with a smile looked fake. There’s a reason for that. This pale ass girl should not have black hair.
Saturday night was spent having to be confronted by Monday’s events and trying to figure out once again how to proceed.
And then, today, I got a call. “We’d like to offer you the job.”
Are you sure?
So, tomorrow I start the new job. Yup, the one I sent the resume to just because I needed to collect unemployment.
It was a week of really testing the “okay” but I made it through. I’ve got a lot of reflections about the past week, the weight gain, and what it means for how I proceed but there definitely isn’t time for that today.
Let’s talk goals
Last Week’s Goals
1. Drink more water: I did pretty well with this one and it served me well. I felt a lot better this week and a lot of that was probably because of being more hydrated.
2. Get my apartment clean: Way. To. Fail. I’m part of the way there but far from actually being done with all I wanted to accomplish.
3. Walk more: I walked A LOT last week and it definitely felt good.
This Week’s Goals
1. Survive: That’s all